Brink Porn

Judgement Day

Eschatology involving the End Times goes back to the Vedic account of “Kali Yuga”, an epoch that mankind is currently experiencing.  According to the ancient “maha-rishi” (great sage), Makrandeya, signs that the End Times are upon us are rulers becoming unjust, women remaining un-wed, and people becoming addicted to intoxicants.  In addition, gurus will no longer be respected.  To top it all off: avarice, lust, and violence will become commonplace.  In other words: For anyone at any point in history, it sounds like things were yesterday and how things will probably be tomorrow.

In Judaic lore, the End Days are referred to as “Aharit ha-Yamim”; while the resurrection of the dead is referred to as “[t]Zadikim”.  Note that the End Times is also referred to in Messianic terms, such as the “Day of the Chosen One” (First Book of Enoch 61:5).  Judaic lore even posited a literal (physical) resurrection of the dead–as in Isaiah 26:19 and Ezekiel 37:12.

Prognostications of resurrection went into overdrive in the New Testament–as in the Gospel of Mark (8:31, 9:9/31, 10:33-34, and 14:28).  And recall that the Gospel of Matthew stated that many were ALREADY resurrected, after Jesus (qua Christ) was himself risen from the dead (27:52-53).  This oratorio of balderdash captured the minds of many throughout the Roman Empire…as well as Coptics in Egypt and Syriac peoples of the Middle East.  This is attested by some of the texts in the Dead Sea scrolls (spec. the so-called “War Scroll”), which describe a final, apocalyptic battle between the sons of light and the sons of darkness–replete with an eternal blaze being held in store for the damned.  This was echoed in the original Gospel (that of Mark), which describes “Gehenna” (the Koine Greek rendering of “Ge-Hinnom”, meaning “valley of Hinnom”) as a place of unquenchable fire.  Authors incorporated memetic accoutrements from Hellenic lore (spec. regarding Tartarus) into their foreboding portrayals.

Bear in mind that the “Book of Revelation”, penned by a John of Patmos, was little other than a phantasmagorical screed–designed more as anti-Roman propaganda than as a serious eschatological treatise.  It was recognized to be contrived by the Council of Laodicea c. 363  Key figures like Marcion of Sinope and Eusebius of Caesarea concurred.  It was primarily the Nicene Christian fanatic, Athanasius of Alexandria who lobbied to include this dubious tract in the official canon.

In Islamic eschatology, this final battle is known as “Malhama” / “Malahim”, adopting the apocalyptic alarmism of Messianism found in the “Book of Revelation”…in which all of human history culminates in this grand, cosmic clash.  And Judgement Day is depicted in lurid detail as a sensational cataclysm–wherein everyone gets what’s coming to them. It is THE FINAL settling of accounts (for which we are supposed to spend our lives preparing). This penultimate occasion is variously dubbed “Yawm ad-Din” (Day [of Reckoning] of the Righteous Way of Life), “Yawm al-Ghadab” (Day of Wrath), and “Yawm al-Qiyamah” (Day of Resurrection).  It is announced by the blowing of a celestial trumpet (blown by archangel “Israfil”)–as propounded throughout the Koran (6:73, 18:99, 20:102, 23:101, 27:87, 36:51, 39:68, 50:20, 69:13, 73:8, 74:8, and 78:18).  Such fanfare is, of course, just a repeat of the angels-blowing-trumpets routine found in the New Testament’s “Book Of Revelation”.  That the authors of the Koran deigned to recycle the ramblings of John of Patmos should give us pause.  (In reality, they were probably more influenced by the writings of 4th-century Syriac writer, Aphrahat of Ashuristan, who based his menacing eschatological musings on the Book of Daniel.)

According to the Koran, the blowing of the trumpet occurs along with a potpourri of other ominous signs: the blackening of the faces of the damned (3:106, 7:46, 10:27, 39:60,  55:39, and 67:27), the destruction of mountains into dust (18:47, 19:90, 52:10, 56:5, 69:14, 77:10, 78:20, 81:3, and 89:21), earthquakes (73:14, 79:6, and 99:1), the sky turning red like ointment (55:37) and becoming like boiling oil / molten lead (70:8), the sky spinning (52:9), the sky splitting (25:25, 77:9, and 84:1), the moon splitting (54:1), the moon joining with the sun (75:9), the stars falling down from the sky (81:2 and 82:2), the appearance of two gigantic columns of darkness / smoke somewhere on the horizon (77:30-32), etc.  And, don’t forget, the wall staving off the dastardly foes, Gog and Magog will be rent asunder (21:96).

To add to the mayhem, there will be thunder and floods and famines and plagues and–most foreboding of all–lots of hedonic indulgences. (Goodness gracious!)  All this calamity is said to culminate in god rolling up the Earth and sky in his hand (39:67), a feat that only makes sense if the Earth and sky were things that one could, well, ROLL UP.

At some point during all this pandemonium, the saved will be whisked away to Paradise–in groups, with angelic escorts.  They will be magically transported up to the heavens while the condemned will be frog-marched down into “the Blaze”…that is, after everyone has been literally (physically) resurrected from their graves (27:67 and 54:7).

A final day of reckoning is a common theme in religions.  It is invariably an occasion for sentencing to one of two afterlife destinations (see my essay: “A Brief History Of Heaven And Hell”).

According to the Koran, all accounts are settled in an especially spectacular fashion.  Like fanatical Christian pre-millennialists, the authors of the Koran eagerly anticipated the promised cataclysm with both relish (for their own anticipated fate) and schadenfreude (for those who didn’t play along with their agenda).  Indeed, they looked forward to gloating while their fellow man–misled as he was during life–suffers in excruciating agony for all eternity (for the unforgivable crime of “not getting it”).

The Koran offers a cartoonish eschatology.  While John of Patmos’ propagandistic ramblings (in the “Book of Revelation”, composed at the beginning of the 2nd century) are couched in overwrought metaphor, the Koran’s descriptions of the apocalypse are explicit.  Both are sensationalized to the nth degree: confabulations of lurid spectacle designed to instill both hope and foreboding.  However, the former was comprised of euphemisms and symbols while the latter was intended to be taken literally.

As with the “Book of Revelation”, the authors of Islam’s holy book emphasize spectacle over theological nuance, providing sensational imagery in a manner that befits a CGI-saturated Michael Bay film.  The pandemonium on the appointed day is an overwrought mishmash of fantastical events–many appropriated from the depictions provided by John of Patmos.  The bottomless pit, “Haawiyah”, was the Arabian version of “Abaddon” in the Book of Revelation…which itself was a recycling of the Greek, “Apollyon”. {9}

The climactic cosmic imbroglio features a hyper-dramatized, Manichean (good vs. evil) account of what happens to the damned vis a vis the saved.  As we’ll see, the allotment of divergent fates transpires amidst a macabre panorama of natural cataclysms–intended as harbingers of the terminal valuation.  Seen through the right lens, every burden, every set-back, and even every tragedy augers some Grand Finale…wherein all of us who had Faith will get our just deserts.

Antecedent Abrahamic versions of the Apocalypse (most notably, that of John of Patmos in his Book of Revelation) involve a great cosmic battle between the forces of good and evil.  Such a clash is standard in “end of days” portrayals.  The Koran’s version of the celestial extravaganza on Day of Judgement (typically dubbed “Yawm ad-Din”) leaves everything in the hands of the Abrahamic deity.

Mohammedan syncretism knew no bounds, adopting leitmotifs from whatever happened to be available.  The Islamic account of damnation even pilfered the idea of a narrow bridge to the hereafter (from which the condemned fall into hell) from Zoroastrian theology.  In the original (Persian) version, the set-piece was dubbed, “Chinvato Peretum” (a.k.a. “C[h]invat”): the bridge to “Takamagahara” (where souls are judged by “Rashnu”).  In the Hadith, the bridge is simply re-named, “Al-Sirat” (alternately, “Sirat al-Mustaqim”)…as if referring to it in CA lent it a sheen of authenticity.

The idea of a magical trestle leading to a celestial Valhalla is not uncommon–as we know from Jacob’s dream of a “ladder” in the Book of Genesis (typically represented as a stairway).  Indeed, the bridge-to-heaven leitmotif can be found in myths from all over the world, from “Bifröst” / “Asbru” (the rainbow bridge to Asgard / Himinbjörg in Norse mythology, where souls are judged by “Heimdall”) to “Ama-no uki-hashi” (the bridge to the afterlife paradise, “Takama-ga-hara” in Shinto Japanese mythology).  Even Scientology has the sacred “Bridge To Freedom” (comprised of the progressive stages of “Operating Thetan”).

People have been telling tales about the end of the world since the Zoroastrians posited “Frashokereti”.  It’s not merely that Mohammedan lore–like any lore–was fabricated; it’s that it was OBVIOUSLY fabricated.  Bereft of nifty ideas of their own, the composers of the Koran were disposed to scavenge the Middle East for extant memes–incorporating anything useful into their hybridized narrative: Judaic, Gnostic, Hijazi pagan, Zoroastrian, et. al.

Other familiar tid-bits appropriated from the Zoroastrian apocalypse, “Frashokereti”:

• The mountains will crumble
• The sun will be blotted out
• All the dead will be resurrected to face judgement

Portrayals of this fateful day involve lots of fire and mayhem–replete with the obliteration of sunlight, floods and earthquakes, and general global devastation.  The lurid depiction is enough to terrify almost everyone, including children…as well as giraffes and gerbils.

In Mohammedan cosmology, “Yawm ad-Din” occurs at an undisclosed point in the future.  80:21-22 indicates that all will lie in wait from the day they die until Judgement Day, at which time they will finally be resurrected.  And, per passages like 27:67, 36:78-79, 54:7, 75:3-4, and 79:10-11, when that day arrives, we will literally (physically) be brought out of our graves. (!)  Due to this fantastical event, Judgement Day is also referred to as “Yawm al-Qiyamah” (alt. “Qiyamat”; Day of Resurrection).  This is an indication of the degree of superstition underlying the Koran’s composition.  But it was nothing new.  In Judaic tradition, the End Days (“Aharit ha-Yamim”) also involves a raising of the dead (“Tehiyat ha-Metim”). {10}  And the Christian Gospels foretells the same event: the physical resurrection of the entire human race (on the Last Day).

The Hadith provides even more garnish on the Koran’s fantastical eschatology.  For example, it foretells the “Masih ad-Dajjal” (impostor Messiah). {11}  We are notified of the impending arrival of a nefarious figure, the appearance of whom will serve as a harbinger for the “second coming”.  

The authors of the Koran were convinced that Judgement Day was immanent.  53:57 (the End draws nigh), 54:1 (the hour draws nigh), and 75:34-35 (near to you is destruction, and nearer again, nearer to you and nearer).  Again, we see that instilling a sense of urgency was a useful rhetorical trick–persuading the audience that the day of reckoning was close at hand (so they better get with the program!)  That was fourteen centuries ago.

The Hadith bear this out.  In Muslim’s Hadith, MoM is purported to have said the “my coming and the coming of the hour are concomitant; indeed the latter almost arrived before me.”  (Gadzooks!)  We are told that MoM once pointed to a young man and proclaimed: “The hour will arrive before he reaches old age” and “If he lives long, he will not grow old before the last hour will come.”  Elsewhere: “Some of those who see me, or hear my words, will live to see [the coming of the ‘Dajjal’].”

“Dajjal” will serve as the ultimate foil for the coming Mohammedan Messiah, the “mahdi”.  In Millenarian Christian eschatology, this character is comparable to the “anti-Christ” (alt. “the “Beast”), a motif inspired by the “Book of Revelation” by John of Patmos.

THAT had been based upon the Judaic notion of “Armilus”, chief antagonist of the coming Messiah in Judaic eschatology, who’s arrival shall augur the arrival of the long-awaited Messianic Age, “Olam Ha-Ba”. {12}  And THAT character was likely cribbed from the Zoroastrian antagonist, “Ahriman” (and his nefarious emissary, “Aka Manah”).

Since the Final Revelation was delivered to mankind (i.e. since MoM’s ministry), “Dajjal” has been chained up on an island somewhere in the Erythra Sea (“Bahr al-Ahmar” in Arabic; a.k.a. the “Red Sea”).  As the story goes, at the appointed time, this diabolical imposter-Messiah will become unchained and usher in a time of drought, famine, and pestilence.  The idea is that he will wreak havoc so that he may then pose as the savior.

In due course, the “Dajjal” will rise to power, with fawning crowds–in the thrall of his bedazzling charisma–earnestly rallying around him.  This is, of course, a regurgitation of the End Days scenario found in Christian Millenarianism, in which a sinister character associated with Rome (i.e. the anti-Christ; a.k.a. “The Beast”) becomes a global leader.  One needn’t be a philologist to recognize that this “Whore of Babylon” was the basis for the hair-raising tales of the “Dajjal” we find in Mohammedan lore. {11}

While Christian eschatology holds that the venue for the final showdown will be located in the valley proximate to a hill in northern Canaan named “Tel Megiddo”, Mohammedan eschatology posits the Amuk valley (proximate to “Dabiq”) in “al-Sham” (northern Syria) as the location for the ultimate clash (ref. Muslim’s hadith 41/9/6924).  However, other versions claim it will all happen in al-Quds (Jerusalem).  Meanwhile, it is supposed that the nefarious armies of God and Magog (from the Torah) will make an encore appearance.

All this mayhem will occur until the prophet, Isa (Jesus of Nazareth) descends from the heavens to Damascus; and saves the day.

The notion of a Kingdom Come is commonplace in ancient eschatology.  A key component in the narrative seems to be a super-villain with whom the forces of good shall wage battle in a climactic shown-down (at the end of times).  This nefarious character shall rival the cosmic forces of righteousness–thereby providing an enthralling set piece for the impending extravaganza.  The spectacular confrontation thus involves an arch-nemesis pitted against an exultant personification of the forces of salvation.

In Ancient Norse eschatology, this arch-nemesis is “Surtr” (representative of the banished “jötnar”), hailing from the fiery realm of “Muspell”.  Not only will the jilted “Surtr” return with a vengeance, there will appear the great beast, “Jörmungandr” (the Midgard serpent) to presage the arrival of the apocalypse: “Ragnarök”.  Surtr’s sinister designs include engulfing the world in flames.  So, the story goes, we must beware the impending day of reckoning…lest we meet our doom.

Again: The arrival of a menacing anti-savior figure augers the culmination of human history.

The Ancient Norse rivaled John of Patmos in their sensationalized depiction of the foretold “Last Day”.  As mentioned, upon the arrival of “Ragnarök”, the ominous “Surtr” will engulf the world in flames as he battles the “Aesir” (the most vaunted gods).  Meanwhile, Thor will battle the Midgard serpent, “Jörmungandr”; while Odin battles the giant wolf, “Fenrisulfr” / “Hrodvitnir” (a.k.a. “Fenrir”).  All this mayhem will transpire on the plains of “Vigridr” / “Oskopnir”.  Then, the monstrous “Hati” will swallow “Mani” (the moon)…while a leviathan named “Sköll” swallows “Sol” (the sun).  Meanwhile, the unworthy will burn in the global conflagration.

To reiterate, much of the ominous fanfare was merely a regurgitation of Pauline Christology, in which we’re told that celestial trumpets provide the score for Judgement Day.  (Yes, Armageddon has a soundtrack.)  Clearly, the authors of the Koran heard this account and thought it was a nifty idea; so they incorporated it into their own foreboding prognostications of an impending apocalypse.  (For more on the role of eschatology in a Grand Narrative, see the Addendum.)

In the modern era, Abrahamic Millennialism has taken the form of so-called Messianic / apocalyptic cults–where the focal point is the “End Days” (the end of the world; according to some interpretation of Abrahamic eschatology).  Such groups–from Revisionist Zionists to Daesh–are now recognized by level-headed people as deranged; yet we should bear in mind that they all reflect a Weltanschauung that was commonplace in the Middle Ages–for Jews, for Christians, AND for Muslims.  Such delusional world-views are animated by Providentialism (replete with talk of the fulfillment of prophecy), whereby the chosen few eagerly await their destiny.

This makes sense.  For the question that all humans are inclined to ask, “Is THIS all there is?” (alt. “Is this ALL there is?”) begs for an answer. {14}  It is an existential itch that needs to be scratched–sometimes desperately so.  Anyone that offers a quasi-plausible answer to this will command attention.  Such a captivating eschatology also serves as a way to “make sense out of” everything: life, the world, the ineffable.  The answer to “So what the heck is the point of all this?” is something we can’t help but ask; and we all yearn to have answered.  A well-crafted eschatology is thus an effective narrative vehicle: captivating, compelling, and tremendously useful.

On Judgement day, we’re told, god will employ a peculiar calculus, dolling out tawdry rewards by multiplying good deeds ten-fold…while macabre penal measures will be exacted in direct proportion to bad deeds (6:160-1, 27:89, 28:84, and 42:23).  So righteousness is instrumental in deciding one’s fate: It is an investment (which, we’re told, will yield dividends in the hereafter); with debits incurred each time god is displeased.  (Life is given a valuation, whereby one’s destination after death is determined by one’s status on the ledger: the “illyun”.)  Thus the value of piety is its utility: one does it to secure benefits for oneself.

Yet, then again, god will VOID bad deeds and only count the good deeds (46:16 and 29:7).  Question: Can this clear discrepancy be chalked up to shoddy translation?  Answer: No.  It is there in ANY language.

As I discuss in “A Brief History Of Heaven And Hell”, there are usually two possible destinations, but there also needs to be some sort of segue–an EARTHLY culmination of events.  Supplicants long for a reckoning in THIS world, prior to being ushered into the next. {13}  It seems that those who consider themselves pious want the satisfaction of seeing their god smite anyone who dissents from them.  (Judgement Day, it seems, proceeds from a craving for schadenfreude…both for supplicants AND for their deity.)  The notion of just deserts (that everyone is getting what’s coming to them) is tremendously gratifying for those who see themselves as having enduring tribulation in order to maintain piety.  The assurance that there will be a final “settling of accounts” is what makes it all seem worthwhile.

It is tempting for religionists to say: “WE may not be able to cleanse the world of the impious, but–rest assured–GOD will eventually be able to take care of it.  Hurray!”  Such an apotheosis provides them with this satisfaction ex ante; whilst establishing a TELOS to boot.  And if there is a TELOS, we may as well make it as dramatic as possible.  On the appointed day, there shall be a spectacular celestial melee…which involves carrots and sticks.  The maudlin portrayal is comprised of:

• a tumultuous crucible of terrifying cataclysms–replete with dazzling pyrotechnics–befalling the un-chosen
• a sumptuous medley enticing perks–replete with oodles of tasty treats and on-demand sex–showered upon the chosen

With an incentive structure firmly in place, all we have left to do is await instructions.

“Outsiders will rue the day they dared to question us!  And, boy-oh-boy, are we going to enjoy seeing them punished…whilst we receive our splendrous rewards!”  The promise of “just deserts for all” is hard to turn down…which explains why the idea has traditionally had purchase in both Christianity and Islam.  

Hinduism handles this via karmic justice…which requires a series of reincarnations (since it is obvious to everyone that karma does not work within the context of a given lifetime).  Ancient Egyptian theology handled it via “Maat”, according to which judgement was performed by weighing a person’s heart (presided over by Anubis) in order to determined whether the person would be admitted to the Reed Fields [“Sekhet-Aaru”] (analogous to Elysium)…or would be doomed to eternal unrest in “Duat” (analogous to Hades in Greek cosmogony or “Sheol” in Hebrew cosmogony).  And, yes, their heaven and hell had GATES (see my essay, “A Brief History Of Heaven And Hell”).

The End Times were foretold in Hebrew Bible (e.g. Zephaniah 1:14-16; as well as the foreboding prognostications in the Book Of Daniel).  And what of Messianic designs?  The Mikra culminates with the promise of the return of Elijah (Malachi 4:6).  We might recall that Elijah never died; he ascended to heaven…a leitmotif that should sound oddly familiar.  Those in the Abrahamic tradition have been anxiously anticipating the “second coming” ever since…from the Jewish Messia[c]h to the Shia “twelfth imam”.

Our fate in an imagined hereafter thus trumps worldly concerns.  Rulers relish this narrative.  For the rabble are persuaded to resign themselves to their sad lot in life (it’s all part of god’s plan)…knowing that they’ll get their just deserts AFTER life.  As we’ve seen above, it’s a boondoggle; but people continue to fall for it.

There is not a human that has ever existed who has not been enticed by the notion that everyone will eventually get what’s coming to them–for positive or negative.  Indeed, we all want to believe in karma in some form or another.  The “catch” is that any given party wants to believe that, on the great karmic ledger, IT is in the black whilst its adversaries are in the red.  Being convinced of this is tremendously gratifying.  “This hasn’t all been for nothing!” one can say, even as one endures tribulation.  “It’ll all pans out in the end.”  Hallelujah.

The telos proffered by the Koran is ultimately about saving your own hide.  The Koran mentions that on the appointed day, siblings and spouses will run away from each other.  Indeed, parents will even forget about their own children.  The only thing with which each person will be concerned is saving his own ass.  Thus, agape is anathema when all the cards are down.  (Perish the thought of human solidarity.)  This takes “every man for himself” to epic proportions–another testament to the moral degeneracy of the Koran.

And so it goes: “If you didn’t spend your life groveling before the designated deity, you deserve eternal anguish,” is the moral of the story.  And while you suffer, the impresario of the cosmos will gloat.  (What sort of divine super-being resorts to taunting, one might ask?  Well, the one depicted in the Koran, of course.)

The problem is that the raison d’etre for this particular day is unclear.  If, since Mohammed’s ministry, everyone has been either condemned to hellfire or whisked away to paradise after dying (according to the terms stipulated in the Koran), then why the need for a specific “Day of Judgement” (scheduled for some undisclosed, discrete point in the future)?  Hasn’t everyone now deceased already been judged?

Or have all those now deceased merely been “in holding” during the interim?  (Sentence pending.)  This existential limbo is a sort of “barzakh” in Arabic parlance.  In this ontological state-of-suspension, are souls simply biding their time until the worldly arrival of the pending “sa’at” (terminus of the world’s timeline)?  What would be the nature of these provisional accommodations?  Is this “holding” place like purgatory?  (This idea can actually be found in the Jewish Apocalypse of Ezra 4:35.)

In any case, we are exhorted to believe that all “nafs” are kept in this state-of-suspension until “Yawm al-Qiyamah”, at which point each soul shall be remitted to corporeality; and subsequently remanded to the appropriate destination.

Those consigned to perdition for having demonstrated insufficient piety will be directed to hellfire, where they shall be chained and shackled and forced to endure an eternity of excruciating pain (each afforded a perpetual replenishing of their epidermis so has to ensure perpetual agony).  Meanwhile, those who earned the favor of the cosmic overlord will be admitted to Paradise (presumably sans hang-nails, abdominal cramps, flatulence, itching, sneezing, and headaches) to enjoy all the worldly pleasures they’d hankered for on Earth–in perpetuity.

According to the theology proffered by Islam’s holy book, EVERY day (nay, every moment of every day) is an on-going occasion for myriad judgements, as people are always dying.  Barring those still living, has not everyone in history has already been directed to the appropriate afterlife destination (upon death)?  (They died; and have presumably been there ever since.)

So what, exactly, will change when the appointed day of reckoning arrives?  If anything, that final day would, well, just be THE END (of mankind’s Earthly existence).  That is to say, the “testing” process would be complete.  But, on that final day, there would be nothing special about the judgement per se; as it would operate according to the same algorithm that it always had (though, apparently, with much more fanfare).  Thus, that auspicious date would simply be a worldly termination point; not some kind of ultimate verdict on each person’s fate in the “hereafter”.  The verdict for each deceased person is “already in”.

YET…Koranic verses like 2:212 and 39:74 intimate that said judgement WON’T happen until the eventual day of reckoning.  The future tense in such verses is either GENERAL, or it pertains to the future FOR EACH PERSON–as their own death is in their own future.  In other words, the future tense is relative to each person’s lifetime, not to the world’s timeline.  That said, the fact that there is nobody in heaven / hell YET is intimated in these verses.

This entails a different cosmic scheme.  For, in the meantime, we can only presume, the sentencing is pending.  So perhaps every deceased person in history is currently “in holding” after all.  (6:158, 11:103-108, 36:51, 45:27 indicate that the deceased are still awaiting their destination.)  These verses use the future tense of what shall befall mankind, insinuating that the ultimate fate does not immediately come to pass. {15}

The closest we get to a description of the interim period for those deceased consigned to perdition is 23:99-100 (in which we’re told that there is a “barrier behind them” until Judgment Day).  This indicates that the condemned are effectively “in holding”.  Damnation for them, therefore, is pending (at least from OUR point of view, here on Earth).

Presumably, said “barrier” means that the condemned are not allowed to reverse their sentence via repentance.  The Koran is adamant about the fact that no amount of contrition (after one dies) can redeem one once one has been condemned (note, for example, 2:167 and 23:65-66).  There’s no turning back.  Upon death, damnation is irreversible.  The Koran even goes so far as to give dialogues in which the condemned plead and repent…to no avail.  In fact, the book’s protagonist seems to relish the fact that they are begging in vain.

But, then, why is it often supposed that people are NOW in heaven / hell?  If 2:212 and 39:74 are true, then they CAN’T be…YET.  Rather, everyone who’s ever lived is in some kind of “limbo”…for the time being.  So we might wonder: Have they been conscious all this time?  They must be extremely bored!  Do they at least get to watch the goings-on down here on Earth in the meantime?  Assuming god knows where each of these people will EVENTUALLY be going, is there a different holding place for the heaven-bound than there is for the hell-bound?  It seems unfair for them all to be in holding TOGETHER…for all that time.

Thus the question remains: If people are promptly judged as they die, then why does there need to be a JUDGEMENT Day someday?  On the other hand, if the “recompense” has not yet taken place, then both heaven and hell should currently be vacant.  Yet the discussion of BOTH destinations in the Koran indicates otherwise.  There are only two possible ways to resolve this eschatological problem.

First: The intervening time (between any given person’s death and J.D.) can be assumed to be instantaneous from the point of view of the deceased–as both the judge and the respective destinations exist in eternity (i.e. a-temporally).   (16:77 indicates this may be the case.)  However, even in this scenario, the existence of a J.D. would be gratuitous (superfluous).  Moreover, if god were doing all this from a timeless perspective, he would not need a ledger to “keep track” of things, as the Koran repeatedly says he does.  

In any case, the REAL problem with this resolution is that it creates a new theological snafu.  If heaven and hell are timeless, then it is impossible for denizens of the locations to enjoy / suffer from the experience of being there (as it would need to take place over the course of time).

Second: In dying, maybe souls are instantly time-warped straight to J.D.  From the perspective of the deceased, then, J.D. would thereby “arrive” immediately.  But this entails that the deceased are not able to witness the goings-on back here on Earth during the intervening period.  After death, many centuries (or even millennia) may elapse back here on Earth before judgement occurs.  (The interim has already been almost 14 centuries…and counting.)  This “fast-forward” means that loved ones who were “saved” don’t get to see / hear those who remain back here in Earth.  It also means that, from our perspective back here on Earth, nobody is YET in either heaven or hell.  The implications of all this don’t jive with how votaries think about the deceased.  This is a not insignificant glitch in the theological machinery. {16}

Meanwhile, what about all the world’s infants and toddlers on that fateful day?  As with infant and toddlers who die young IN GENERAL, they will have never been afforded the opportunity to become either deniers or believers.  Are they given a pass?  What would be the “cut-off” age for such consideration, exactly?  (Or, if not an age, a quantifiable maturity level?)  What about the mentally handicapped?  What about those who were visually- and hearing-impaired, thereby unable to receive the relevant information without a severe disadvantage?  What about those in remote / isolated locals, who therefore never had the chance to make the choice one way or another?  It might be noted that the Christian “rapture” encounters the same quandaries.  But fear not about fetuses; 22:2 notifies us that all pregnancies will be aborted on the appointed day.

One way to “solve” a puzzle is to demonstrate that the puzzle never existed in the first place.  Apologists often attempt to do this by arguing that critics are just misrepresenting things, concocting a predicament that isn’t really there.  I am open to the possibility that I may be guilty of this mis-step.  But an apologist would need to show how the existence of a J.D. can be reconciled with the notion that there are already people residing in heaven / hell…or that, when it comes to the deceased in the interim, there is no eschatological state-of-suspension.

So there we have it: The Creator of the Universe has an impending reckoning with his own creation–many of whom are condemned to eternal torture before they were even born (per the doctrine of pre-destination).  Short of a pathological degree of sadism, how does this make any sense?  

Meanwhile, as far as votaries are concerned, celebrating the immanent fate of unending agony to be inflicted on all humans in history who happened not to be Muslim seems not to be consummate with probity.  One must wonder: Is any decent person capable of such a mindset?

Progressively-inclined religionists have the wherewithal to resist this temptation.  They are willing to update their eschatological musings by acknowledging the metaphorical nature of their cosmogony.  This requires recognizing that Reform is an on-going process that is forever open-ended.  It is a process that is not smooth; as it is punctuated by watershed moments (memetic saltations), many of which might be rather uncomfortable.  Progress is journey that never truly ends.  That is to say: Progress is never conclusive; it is always provisional…and open-ended.  While we can be shooting for the stars, there is no temporally-discrete eschaton.  And history knows no timeline that has fore-ordained the present moment.